Friday, February 24, 2012

a thousand more...

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more


The past few weeks have been challenging to say the least. There has been an internal struggle that I haven't been able to share with many. It's nothing crazy, but it's big to Cody and I. We are in such a strange place... a valley and are begging God to show us the light. It seems everyday comes with a new struggle and a new praise moment. Obviously, I dwell way too much on the struggle than the praise. I have  sticky note that sits by my computer that says "Fix your thoughts on what is TRUE, and LOVELY, and ADMIRABLE. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." Phil 4:8. In the midst of these struggles, I'm trying to keep my thoughts positive since it is so easy to get sad and depressed during this time.

Yesterday was possibly the worst day so far and God showed up big time and gave me a huge break. I kept looking at another sticky note I have posted (I have lots of them) and it says "With Gods help, we will do mighty things." Psalm 108:13. I decided to claim that one yesterday, because there was no way it was from anything I did that I was able succeed yesterday. I'm not going to go into specifics, but just know that I was at a really low point yesterday... I was angry, sad and I could have easily checked out for a few days and been ok with that. BUT God showed up. He took care of me and made my day a lot easier. I don't care what anyone says or thinks, I know what happened yesterday was because my Father saw me breaking and for whatever reason stepped in at that moment. Yes, it would have been nice for struggles to never happen, but that moment when I saw the shift in events was nothing short of amazing and confirmed his love and goodness once again in my heart/life.

This struggle is not over, but I am not alone.


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